Sunday, June 6, 2010

Chemo log 2 - It's official this sucks

Saturday left me unable to do pretty much anything. I could make breakfast, and my bed and that was the extent of my abilities for the day. Return of the throbbing headache, followed by extreme fatigue, I am not sure if I experienced the bone pain that I mentioned in an earlier post. I felt so crummy I could barely sleep effectively.

My friend Kelly came by with a Bountiful Basket, for me and the boys. Lots of nice organic fruits and vegetables for the price. She also stayed, cleaned my refrigerator, and did my dishes. Another of my many reminders that the universe just has a way of providing the things I need.

I started to freak out on Saturday, 6 months of feeling as rotten as I did just seemed more then I could handle. This was the worse I had ever felt, and it didn't feel progressive it just felt rotten. Certainly more then the boys could handle and I wasn't even "sick" yet. What would happen if all the possible complications came about how would I manage? Hello, self take a deep breath and drink water and breathe. Food did not seem right in anyway but I forced myself to eat what I could, fortunately I was able to drink plenty of water.

To be honest some of this not wanting to eat and cook bit might have something to do with the fact that summer has come and it is a blazing inferno outside. Thankfully my friend Joe came to my rescue (for about the hundredth time) and installed a window air conditioner in my sanctuary. It effectively cools the upstairs for the boys and I. I am suppose to stay cool and out of the sun while receiving treatment. So comfort will be maintained the price will be some paltry sum to APS and of course learning how to sleep in a jet engine. If it sounds like I am whining I assure you that I am not. Life is full of miracles, usually created by the goodness of those around you.

Sunday I awoke a bit tentative. Dani came by and helped with the breakfast dishes and general upstart of the day. My goal was to go to CVS pharmacy, and the grocery store. It took until noon for me to pull myself and the boys together for this outing. The phone rang and my friend Mary offered to take the kids and I out to lunch. I was not interested in food but the kids needed to eat and I needed to get out of my house. I was still feeling pretty slow but I thought I would try. I told Mary I would pick her up. Some would wonder why Mary would not pick us up, in a addition to the car seat situation for the boys Mary is celebrating her 78th birthday, it is high time that she was picked up by whomever would come her way, and of course I have never ridden before with her, now was not the time to start my heart being in it's weakened state and all :) Happy Birthday Marnie, we love you.

So Mary tagged along with us to CVS and then took us to Prescott Brewing Company for lunch. Now normally I go to the pub and want a burger, the "Triple Threat" is my new favorite, it is a beef patty, battered and fried jalapenos and 2 slices of the best bacon in the world. I am not kidding this bacon is heavenly, I love most bacon, but this is in a class all it's own. Apparently they smoke it themselves at the pub with some special blend of wood chips and jalapenos. It creates this smokey, chewy, crispy, salty, spicy blend of pork goodness, I have NEVER tasted bacon this good. The pub also has great homemade rolls to choose from to have this ultimate in burgers created on. How quickly I forget I am a vegetarian, and though I love vegetables, my stomach is in no way going to endure a portabello mushroom burger or a "Triple Threat" for that matter. I end up ordering the fish, mashed potatoes and coleslaw. Yes, I know fish is not a vegetable. I need to eat whatever my body is willing to receive at this point, and it sounded like it might go down. I was wrong and fed the fish to the boys, but like with all my stories there is a silver lining. The mashed potatoes with porter gravy were quite possibly the perfect comfort food. Real red potatoes smashed with the skin on, with a deliciously rich porter gravy on top, you could taste a hint of the beer it was made with, kindling my fondness for things alcoholic in this dry time of my life. Pretty complex little side dish which may become a staple in my life. Being out with Mary was an absolute life saver, sometimes you just need to be around people to be reminded that life and the world outside goes on.

I have to get to work and still have so much more to share.............if I keep at this I will eventually type faster.

Today I still have a foggy headache, but have the ability to move.

Drink water and breathe............

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