Monday, April 19, 2010

Catching up to the present

I am new to the blogging world and unfortunately the speed at which I get my thoughts to screen is not that great yet. There is still a lot of story between April 2nd and today I however am opting to do a quick re-cap of the past 3 weeks.

I did have a PET scan and an MRI on April 7th. I received the results on April 9th, another suspicious mass was found on my right ovary as well as a few lymph nodes. This meant biopsy of my ovary as well as a recommendation of bilateral mastectomy being the best option for treatment of my breast cancer. Prior to this information I had pretty much decided on mastectomy over lumpectomy (even if it was an option). I am a balance person and felt that I have gotten great use out of the breasts that I have. This option seemed to give me more piece of mind. The cancer door being opened in my life has me hyper focused on every nerve in my body. At least with the mastectomy I could heal evenly, and maybe in the end come out with some nice perky size C's. Someone once said every cloud has a silver lining, maybe they meant saline??

The possible ovarian cancer has not been so easy to adjust to. I have yet to consult with an ob/gyn oncologist to actually give me specific options. I believe they are partial or complete hysterectomy. I will have a consultation for my ovaries when I am hospitalized for my mastectomy. Which may extend my stay if they decide to operate again. The unknowns are kind of getting to me and I am running out of patience.

I spoke with an oncologists office today and am scheduled for a chemotherapy consultation on May 6th. They anticipate I will start chemotherapy within 4 weeks of my surgery. Thankfully this part of my treatment will be in Prescott Valley so I won't have to drive to Scottsdale quite as often.

So the specifics so far are: I am scheduled for a Bi-Lateral Breast Mastectomy (PHASE I), with the reconstruction process beginning at the same time. They will remove quite a few lymph nodes as well. This surgery is scheduled for Friday, April 23rd at 12:30 AM, I will be admitted to Scottsdale Health Care Shea sometime between 9:00 and 10:00. If I only have the mastectomy I will be released from the hospital Saturday or Sunday. If they schedule the hysterectomy(PHASE 2) I could be in the hospital until Tuesday or Wednesday. My friend Kerry is taking me to the hospital and is signed on until my release from PHASE 1. If PHASE 2 occurs other arrangements will need to be made for my return trip.

On a more personal note, today I started to break down. The pressure I am under is so great, that I am driven to tears by the slightest things. Time feels like it is standing still one moment, yet I know Friday is just a few short days away. I could use a valium or a martini, both of which are frowned on prior to surgery, along with vitamin's C, E and every other pill you could imagine except tylenol, go figure. For those of you who know me well, hospitals are my least favorite place to be. I am going to be spending a lot of time in medical surroundings so I am just going to have to learn to adapt. This is the biggest fight of my life, I need a place to share this with others, and I also need the love and support of those around me. I feel like a warrior that is gathering troops to take into battle, in some way I have been gathering troops for a long time. To all my warriors out there thank you for all you have done, and all that you will do, know that I am grateful for each and everyone of you.
That's all for tonight folks, I will have some time on my hands in the near future and a new notebook (courtesy of my awesome big brother) hopefully I can fill in some of the blanks of my journey.
Until then drink water and breathe..................


  1. I love you Sarah, We are going to get you through this, Jess.

  2. i wanna be a warrior....=) auntie sarah... i LOVE you and ALL you have done to support me in life. u have given me great advice and helped me thru hard times... but now its my turn to tell you that i will too try my hardest to be there for you thru toughest of obstacles...and to kinda help you feel safer knowing that you have one more warrior to help you thru your battle...=]as soon as i come back from Japan i WILL try my hardest to be there for you...actually u kno what..even better. i wont TRY...i WILL be there for you. the moment i step foot in the states im commin over =) i miss you and the boys so much... i will keep in contact. love you guyz mucho, stephanie.

  3. Steph I can't believe you are in are all so secrtetive and why didn't my sweet little nephew offer to by me a ticket? have a great time,see you when you cross the pond. Thanks Jess, I love you too.

  4. Sarah - I am here by way of your brother's link, and wanted to say you are in my thoughts. While I can't imagine the road you are traveling, you will not walk it alone.

  5. Sarah, It has been far too many years since we have see each other, and it is a shame that this is what is bringing me back to you. I am so sorry for what you are going through. But I know you are a fighter, and I have no doubt you will get though this. I received your email address from Dani last week, and just stumbled across this Blog today, so I am at work, trying to catch up on your journey. We really need to get together when you are able to. I was up in Prescott last month, but you were in Phoenix that day. I'll be up again soon. Stay strong, my friend, I think of you literally everyday, and am already one of your warriors....I will tell you more about that later! Take care, and I am sure I will be commenting all day on all your posts.
    Love your old friend, Michelle