Sunday, March 11, 2012
Preparing to tap in
Today is day 21, of my 21 day cycle. Which means tomorrow is the beginning of my second chemo cycle. I could try to compare it to my menstrual cycle.....but it has been a long time since I had one of those too. I have to say it has been an interesting 21 days. My health has had peaks and valleys. Some experiences are new, like the vomiting, and nausea. Others felt familiar like fatigue, stress, and anxiety. Then there were the countless acts of love that came into my life, from a million different angles at the most unexpected times. I can't get over all the kindness and generosity of so many around me. I received a hug from Garchen Rinpoche and heard him speak for the first time. I was able to get out on my bike twice, once with an old friend so dear to my heart and again with a new friend. Both rides hold a special place in my heart it is like biking past and future all in the present....I was so grateful to have the strength to ride. I had a delicious potato, ginger soup delivered to my door. Wonderful meals with friends. My boys well they are just a blessing that never ceases to amaze me. I had a wonderful visit from Liette and Matt. Nothing says love quite like a Lego tree house, if you have doubts, just ask my boys they will tell you. I have been blessed with someone to help with the housework this week. Another amazing gift. Life seems busier then ever and I am so fortunate to have so many willing to pitch in an help out in so many ways.
So my thoughts are circling in a cosmic way. The blessings that are in my life are all about being connected. My cancer has paved the path for so many to share in this profoundly human experience. There is so much goodness and light that surrounds my diagnosis that at times it feels surreal....can I really be sick? The mind is a powerful thing. If my hair wasn't thinning so much it might be easier to think this was dream. But today is the end of my cycle and well tomorrow is day 1...again and what exactly do I plan to bring?
I guess my theme for my next round is eternal. My friend Christi mentioned it to me tonight when I had my Chinese Medicine session. Her thoughts were directed towards never ending nature of energy itself. The shelf life of my body is still to be determined. The energy that is me, well that goes on forever. If you doubt this just pause for a moment and think of someone you love. The energy of that love is with you at this very moment. Simple, right? How do I channel eternal into tomorrow? Through my breath. I need to accept this treatment as someplace so necessary, it is exactly where I am suppose to be. With my breath honoring that in me which is everlasting, it feels kind of tricky because I need to be in the present moment. Thankfully any shortcomings in my spiritual aspirations will be covered by the fact that my treatment takes place in Sedona the known vortex capital of the world. I am sure that will cover any gaps in my own process :)
So my friend Lauren is going to be behind the wheel and the party starts around 9:30.
Keep us in your thoughts, share some love with those around you, everyone can use it.
Drink water and breathe