Monday, August 23, 2010

The pressure get current

I am full of good intentions. I want to maintain my blog, I want to keep it somewhat current, I want to share so much.....alas I am limited on time. So I am going to summarize a bit............

San Diego was an amazing trip. The boys absolutely loved Legoland, I think the small fortune spent was worth the experience for all of us. My family needed the break, summer in Prescott had been long and hot. This fight with cancer had taken it's toll on all of us and we needed to just step out and have some fun. No therapy is more healing then an ocean breeze and roller coasters. I wonder why I don't escape there more often? The drive is pretty easy and the city offers so many different things to do.

Our return to Prescott was very hectic. We came home on a Saturday (7/31), my left breast mound had deflated considerably by this time. I realized it was a SITUATION so I called the doctor as soon as we got home. I needed to know what options I was facing because of the leak. My optimistic brain was thinking maybe he could just wave my CHI flattening iron over the mound to seal the leak until I was ready for my permanent implants. No way, no quick fix for me I was going to have to have the implant removed and replaced during an outpatient procedure. All I can think is are you kidding me (with maybe a few expletives thrown in). I of course need to see him first thing Monday morning so that he can confirm it is leaking. So I drive to Phoenix with the boys, they really wanted to get back in the car so soon after San Diego. Dr. Berardi of course confirms the leak and schedules outpatient surgery for the next day, efficiency is an irritating blessing.

I rush back to Prescott because I need to meet the director at Mason's new pre-school that afternoon. School is starting the following week and there are last minute details to attend to. Then we rush over to Aunt Dan-Dan's new apartment and try to help out with the move in any way we can. This means I get to hang all the clothes in the closet, no heavy lifting for me (cancer does have some perks). The boys mean while play underfoot of all the guys lifting furniture up the never ending stairs to her new apartment. We are a very handy family so if anyone needs help moving do be sure to call. After about an hour of aggravating the happy movers to the brink I head home to wrap my head around yet another out-patient procedure.

I am so blessed to have good friends. On less then 24 hours notice I get my friend Shelly to watch the boys for the day. She is truly an angel as this required me dropping the boys off at 6:45 AM, all you mothers out there know the power behind this gift. My friend Chris offers to drive me down and bring me back, also on a days notice. I tell my mom that I have to extend my vacation a bit and she gets everyone to cover my shifts at the restaurant and I am good to go.

Initially when I found out I was going to have to go through this I was pretty pissed off. Like I really needed one more bump in the road. Then that feeling of acceptance that I have been cultivating came over me. I was 3 weeks out from my last A/C chemo, and I was feeling stronger then I have since my original surgery. If I was going to have to go in for surgery it might as well have been then. I had the week off to recover and deal with any last minute school details, really not such a bad turn of events.

Surgery went off without a hitch. I was out for a couple of hours and woke up to my breast mound being almost back to its normal size. I had a giant ace bandage wrapped around my bust and midsection. When I say giant it must be 20 ft. long by 6 inches wide. Now this detail kind of freaks me out. I can barely bandage myself with this thing while standing. The mental image I get of nurses wrapping this around my naked body all limp from anesthesia is almost more then I can handle. Medicine is a very complex field and the details just make me shiver....

I vomit once in the car ride home, to much gingerale doesn't go well with anesthesia, add the 115 degree weather outside and I didn't have a chance. I think I sleep to Cordes Junction, and by the time I get home I am starting to feel okay. I am a little sore, nothing a few vicodin won't fix. Shelly brings the boys home another saving grace. Let the healing begin.....again.....

I was scheduled to start my next round of chemo drugs on Thursday 8/5 (two days after surgery). That Thursday morning I arrive at the oncologists office, tired but kind of prepared to receive treatment. He informs me that he is going to postpone treatment for another week. This is one of those bits of news that I love/hate. I love that I feel so good and get another week off. I hate that it means yet one more week until I am finished with putting these chemicals into my body. Whatever, there is nothing I can do about it.

What is it I am suppose to say oh yeah....drink water and breathe.....


  1. Sitting here at work, breaking for only when I HAVE to answer the phone or an email, I have read through your journey. You are amazing!! I am just sorry I could not be there to support you, but I can see your support system is indeed wonderful. I look forward to seeing you, and am still thinking of you everyday. Oh, and I should tell you, the day I heard about this, I signed up for the Susan G. Komen 3-Day for the Cure. So far so good in training, still fundraising. Will take a little work, but nothing compared to what are doing. But it is somehow my little way to help you and everyone else going through this!

  2. Michelle so good to hear from you. It has been many moons. Someday I will be doing the 3-day for the cure. We have to get together when you are in town.